The Faux Foodie; That Would Be Me!

When it comes to food, foie gras, sea urchin (AKA uni), beluga caviar, and escargot are just some of the quintessential foods that signify the epitome of elegance, class, and luxury.  Clearly, these are delicacies one would expect to see any foodie happily noshing on, right?  Well, not this foodie! You couldn’t pay me enough money to even swallow 1/8 of a teaspoon of any of that.  None of it is appealing to me.  I’d love to meet the guy who was gardening one day and happened to look down in the grass and saw a little snail slowly making its way through it, leaving a trail of slime in its wake.  I wonder what it was about that slime trail, or maybe it was the snails antennae that made him think, “Mmm hmm, yeah! I’ve gotta get me some of that! That looks like good eats right there.  I’ll dip you in a bit of melted butter, a little garlic, a little shallot and it’s on!”  Then again, I probably don’t want to meet that guy.  I’m pretty sure he and I would have some definite differences of opinions as to what we consider good eats.  LOL

I’ve heard so many definitions floating around about what it means to be a foodie.  To many, being a foodie means you’re a food snob who ONLY eats the best, most expensive foods on earth, and shuns any food (and often the people who eat it) that does not meet the lofty, and rigorous standards of fine, gourmet food.  This is one who takes an elitist approach to food, and wouldn’t dare eat certain things simply because it’s considered to be beneath him or her. To others being a foodie means that you’re one who has an extremely refined, discerning palate which has been trained to only be able to appreciate the finest, most delectable morsels of food.  It doesn’t matter what a food may taste like.  If it’s expensive or exclusive, to this particular foodie, it automatically means good eats. Still others believe a foodie is a trend seeking restaurant hotspot hopper whose sole purpose in life is to keep up with the newest, hippest food trends and fads on the culinary scene.  This type of foodie takes the “keeping up with the Jones’” approach to food.  This type wants to stay in the know of what the Jones’ are cooking, how they’re plating it, and what cutting edge cooking techniques the Jones’ use to get it there.  If the Jones’ say pocket lint is the new taste treat as long as it’s fried to golden perfection in rendered duck fat and served with a sweet and spicy blood orange dipping sauce, then guess who’s juicing blood oranges, pulling out the chile peppers,  and running to their closets to empty out their coat pockets? Yep, those guys.

Foodie. There are SO many definitions out there for that word. While all of them do recognize the passion for food, unfortunately, a great majority of them also allude to the idea that a foodie is definitely an elitist, snobbish, fad chasing food lover. Based upon those definitions, I am not a foodie. True, I have a refined palate, enjoy luxurious flavors and textures, and have a great appreciation for discovering new ways of preparing food.  But, I am in no way shape or form a food snob or some kind of fad loving food groupie.  I have white truffle oil, a pinch of saffron, multiple ages and varieties of balsamic, and host of other infused oils and vinegars stashed in my pantry.  But, they’re in the same pantry with hot sauce, ramen noodles, and pork ‘n beans.  I love creamy polenta made with whole cream, butter, Parmigiano Reggiano, and topped with shitakes and oyster mushrooms.  But, I also love regular ole grits made with salt, pepper, butter, and sharp cheddar. 

I loathe pompous elitism in general but especially when it comes to food.  There are so many things in existence that separate people:  money, race, age, etc.  Food shouldn’t be one of them.  Food is such an integral part of life to everyone.  It shouldn’t be used in an intimidating manner.  So the notion that some people tend to use food and in many ways the term foodie as a symbol of status and as a way to establish a concocted food related caste system is repugnant to me. That’s why I call myself a faux foodie. 

Remember back in the day when wearing real fur was so big?  I never owned any real fur.  But, I do remember twirling in a mink coat at a store when I was much younger thinking “someday, someday, someday!”  The idea of having real mink was such a luxury.  The elite, the rich, the famous wore them.  Then, years later we learned of all the suffering that animals went through just so we could have that coat, and the idea of having real fur was no longer desirable; many people switched to wearing faux fur.  It still looks and feels good, but the distasteful part of it has been removed.  Well, I’m doing the same thing with foodie that was done with fur, which is why I call myself a faux foodie.  I’m keeping what’s good about it, the passion, the excitement, the love of food, but getting rid of all of the nonsense that makes it seem intimidating.  I don’t subscribe to ideas like:  I’m better than you because I eat this.  I will never eat this because only those kind of people eat that.  This tastes great because I paid $75 a pound for it. Chef So and So said this is fantastic and I saw So and So from my favorite TV show eating it, so I know it tastes good. Nah, that’s not me.

If I say I don’t like something it’s because I don’t like it, not because it’s not ritzy enough for me.  If I eat something and like it it’s because I enjoy the flavors, not because some food god convinced me it tastes good even though it tastes like fire roasted garbage sprinkled with pink salt and peppercorns.  I know that $75 a pound cheese doesn’t necessarily taste good just because it costs $75 a pound.  If I don’t want to try something it’s because I have some aversion to it, not because I’m intimidated by it or don’t feel worthy enough to eat it.  Like I said earlier, I have no desire to eat those above listed luxury foods.  I’ve had plenty of opportunities to, but just don’t find those foods enticing.  Having said that, I don’t feel that a lack of willingness to eat certain things even remotely diminishes one’s passion and love of eating, cooking, and learning about food.  There are plenty of other things to sink your teeth into. 

To me, a foodie should simply mean one who loves and is knowledgeable and enthusiastic about cooking, eating, and shopping for good food.  So, until that definition is considered the norm, I proudly call myself a faux foodie.